Nadine Sutherland's career history fits none of the stereotypes commonly attributed to Jamaican popular music stars. Her records, like those of former mentor Marcia Griffiths, have won her a reputation with reggae (and to some extent, club) audiences from across the board. From roots to ragga, from ballads to r&b, Nadine's sung in all manner of styles with such vivacity (and at times, soul-baring emotional power), it's no wonder she's been widely acclaimed as the best female Jamaican singer of her generation.

    Voice, looks, songwriting skills and captivating stage presence, Nadine Sutherland has all the ingredients required for international stardom, including a New York postcode in recent years. That she's failed to capitalise on her bountiful talents to an even greater degree is hard to explain.

    Admittedly her inconsistent track record hasn't helped, since fans never know where, when, for whom or with what she's going to pop up next. What they do know is that her records will be voiced with unbridled energy and feeling, because there's nothing, repeat nothing, half-hearted about a Nadine Sutherland tune. When she sings of a broken relationship - as she has done frequently - it's as if her world is falling apart right there in the studio. Then there's the verve and enthusiasm she brings to any bashment hit, and especially when guesting alongside top Jamaican ragga stars such as Buju Banton, Mad Cobra, Terror Fabulous and Spragga Benz. It was Terror Fabulous who'd had the good fortune to dee-jay on Nadine's Action for Mad House, as the record became a worldwide, reggae dancehall anthem on its release in 1993; Fabulous having been brought in by producer Dave Kelly at the last minute. Both artists signed to US major label East-West shortly afterwards. Nadine was rumoured to be cutting an r&b album with them, even whilst recording the occasional single back home in Kingston for Bobby Digital or Fatis Burrell, whose Xterminator label released her Nadine album in 1997. It was an excellent set too. The best female Jamaican vocal album of the nineties by some distance, and showcasing a flair for songwriting that eclipses anything heard from either her precedessors or contemporaries thus far.

    This in itself isn't so surprising, since she was schooled in music from a very early age by some true Jamaican reggae legends, including Bob Marley, Peter Tosh, Bob Andy, the I-Threes, Israel Vibration and members of the Wailers band. Raised in Kingston with her three brothers, she'd won a local Tastees talent competition at the age of nine. Tuff Gong A&R man Sangie Davis was there and invited her to record at Marley's studio on Hope Road, an alliance that resulted in her debut single Starvation - released in 1980 when she was just eleven years old - and the long deleted Until album. Quite sensibly, she chose to complete her education before turning professional. This slowed down, and for much of the mid-eighties, almost decimated her creative output, unless you count all those poems she wrote during her college years! It wasn't until after Gussie Clarke had launched his hi-tech, digital roots and dancehall sound and was making serious attempts on the international market with songs by Shabba Ranks and J. C Lodge in particular that Nadine's voice began to be heard with any regularity once more. Apart from making solo records (and Music Works' Mr Hard To Please was exceptional), she, Pam Hall and J. C Lodge also formed the most in-demand trio of backing singers in Jamaica at the time, after which Nadine - by now in her early twenties, and exuding youthful sexuality - joined the dancehall revolution with seeming abandon.

    The bogle era was in full swing during the early nineties. With the likes of Shabba, Chakademus & Pliers and Shaggy storming the international charts and ragga dance crazes getting exposure on mainstream television, the Kingston studios were buzzing with promise and expectation. Dancehall music was poised to redefine every tired, prejudiced stereotype of Jamaican music in the book, and Nadine Sutherland at last came into her own.

    Action was her breakthrough hit of course, but innumerable singles were released during this phase of her career. True to form, they varied from blistering torch songs such as Want To Go Home and Since You've Been Gone (voiced for Penthouse and Digital B respectively) and the haunting Love Potion for Sly & Robbie, to exuberant dancehall combinations like Wicked Dickie (with Buju Banton), Right Track (with Mad Cobra) and Slam version Please Me, as shared with Spragga Benz. It was in the company of Capleton (on More Than Loving) that she maintained her winning alliance with Gussie Clarke, and since her brother Gary was then resident engineer at Junior Reid's studio, there was even a song for JR, although she's not too keen on being reminded of it. Happily, her combination with Papa San on Dirty Talk for Robbie Shakespeare & Danny Browne's short-lived Powermatic label gleaned a far more positive response.
"I used to like that little song. It was kinda cute. I don't what happened to it, but I remember I was quite hip back then," she says on the phone from New York. "But that was another time in my life… I mean my musical career has always been funny, because at that time I was trying to do everything for myself, and when songs like that hit I was like 'Wow!' because I was hot for a while. But now, it's like it's reached another level, because I've written all of these songs, and it's like 'Aaargh! What happened?' Maybe it stems from all those times I've tried to bulldoze through life, I don't know. I think I'm gonna write a book about it one day... I mean I like singing on dancehall rhythms, but I'm a singer of songs, and while I might sing upon a dancehall rhythm - that's for definite - I can dee-jay myself if I want that effect. But that's two distinctly different styles, and it would be a shame for anyone to typecast another person in that way."

    This fever for matching up Nadine with every leading ragga dee-jay reached its apex on the 1995 Atlantic hit Anything For You, which she duetted with white Canadian reggae sing-jay Snow; a line-up augmented by Beenie Man, Buju Banton, Terror Fabulous, Louie Culture and Culture Knox on the flipside. By then, East-West had released Action in a variety of club remixes, although Nadine herself still hasn't heard them, let alone had chance to perform the song in England, where jungle remixes introduced her voice to an entirely new audience. In fact she's yet to tour hardly anywhere outside of America, Japan and the Caribbean, although she did visit London in 1993, where she recorded a powerhouse rendition of War In The City for an album released by Jove entitled The Songs Of Bob Andy.
"Bob Andy is one of Jamaica's greatest songwriters, and as a Jamaican who has worked with Bob, I was pleased to cover one of his songs," she says. "It was indeed an honour, and it's like I was blazing on there right? The emotions of war! Because I found all this war inside of me I didn't even know I had. It's like I became a revolutionary!"

    Thus did the many facets of Nadine Sutherland reveal themselves throughout the nineties, and it was to be her more sensitive, personal side that shone through with most force as the decade progressed. For Bobby Digital there was the superb Rainbow, Flames Of Love and All Them A Talk, whilst Fatis preceded the Nadine album with some fine singles from 1994 onwards, including If You Are Going Go, Baby Face, Quiet Time and the stunning Pair Of Wings, which although unintended as such, served as the ultimate tribute to Garnett Silk on its appearance in early 1995, just weeks after his untimely death. It remains one of her best-ever tracks, and why it wasn't included on her Xterminator album is a mystery that not even she herself can answer.

    "Yeah, I wanted Pair Of Wings to be on that album so badly, but I don't know what happened. And there's a song on that album called Not My Baby, and to me that's like... I don't know how I wrote that song. I never knew I had so much depth! But Fatis is very adventurous, and that's the one thing I love about working with him. I was able to go to him with songs like Pair Of Wings and Not My Baby and he was like 'OK, go and record it.' He recognises that songs like that are written from the soul, because I had one of the most beautiful experiences of my life when I was singing Not My Baby. That's been an enlightening experience for me. They say that men don't have emotions, or they say that if men do have emotions, then they hide it. Well I was in the Lion's Den in Manhattan: a place full of dreadlocks and tough men who g'wan bad y'know? That kind of audience, and I was speaking about Not My Baby and the reason why I wrote it, and saying how it's like when a mother loses her son; she picks up her phone and this man's giving her the news, or it's like when a brother loses a brother. Something like that, and by that I mean a friend, rather than a real brother. And I was basically shaking. I was shaken up even before singing that song. And it was predominantly like ninety per cent of men in the crowd, but the response was awesome. It's like a man could identify with how 'im could lose a bredren, and although that isn't really the same, it's the same pain, the same process they go through in themselves, and to me that was like the bomb. I was like 'My God!'

    "Anyway, I wrote those songs during a period when I really grew up as a person. I wasn't really being as girly as I used to be. I'll always be silly because that's part of my personality, but during that time I was beginning to understand how there are different elements to me. My world-view changed, and I think the girl inside of me still lives, but the woman's voice is a lot stronger now, and I think that when that album was being made, the woman inside of me was born. I really do think that. From all the experiences that I've been through, I view the world differently now. That is when I was hurting. I mean you have to go through a real dark side. When it began to happen I was like 'Oh no,' but then you realise that the world has a bad side, as well as a good side, and it can be frightening when that happens."
She was an "African princess," on her way to "becoming a queen" as she relates in the song To My Ancestors, and after all those excitable dancehall duets, queenly status - whatever form of expression it takes - is now pretty much par for the course whenever a fresh Nadine Sutherland record hits the streets. Songs for Digital B and Xterminator (including the most recent Don't Leave) have now been supplemented by the new singles Front Page (for Penthouse) and My Prayer, which she voiced for a new label called Overstanding.

    "Oh, that song's so nice," she says of the latter. "I hadn't heard of that label before either, but it's there. It's an American label, or rather a Jamerican label, because they're Jamaicans, but they live in the States."
Wasn't this song being held up by a sample clearance?
"Yes, you're right. It started to play. I think Bobby Konders of Hot 100 played it because even though it's like dancehall/hip hop, it's on an old Coxsone rhythm, except with a hip hop flava. It's very, very different. I don't even know why I did it really; sometimes I amaze myself. But I'm just me and I liked it, so there you are. They presented the rhythm track to me initially, and I don't know how or why, but it just hit me. I mean I hope I'm not giving the wrong impression, but let me hum it to you, 'cause it's some real old Coxsone stuff… (Sings) 'You're gonna run, run, run. Run as fast as you can..' You know that rhythm?"
It's by Delroy Wilson…
"Yes, I think that's who did the original version. And with that hip hop flava on top, it sounds really, really cool."

    Don't you also have a duet with Lexxus due to be released soon? "Yes. It's not out yet, but it should be out for the summer. I don't know whether it's going to be a single though. I think it's something for his album really. The next thing I have coming out is Skeezer. Yeah, that's getting a lot of play in Jamaica. To tell you the truth, I can't believe that so much work is coming out at once. After being working for so long and doing all these recordings and yet not one has come out, it's surprising to me."
So is Skeezer a dancehall tune?
"Yeah, dancehall orientated, but just like Front Page, it has a younger vibe to it. It's very bubbly, but My Prayer is very serious. Extremely so, because I was going through a period of introspection at the time. It's very spiritual, and very truthful too, so it's quite different."
At one stage you looked in danger of being typecast, what with all those dancehall combinations...
"To me also, and even now, but that's one of the reasons why I took a rest from the reggae music industry when I signed to East West. It allowed me to withdraw, then come again after redefining who I really was, rather than living out anyone else's expectations of me. I wanted to be seen as more than just a singer who sounds good alongside a dee-jay, because I'd always been known as a singer in my own right before that. And as a singer of my own songs too. I am an artist who tries to paint pictures in her songs. That's how I would define my role if I was asked for an opinion on who I really am. My songs are ultimately expressions of who I am."

    Did you complete much work for East-West?
"I completed a whole album which you've never heard, and you may never hear, but that's show biz y'know? They just put it in a box and put it on a shelf. They dropped the whole reggae department that year. They said they were disappointed by the sales of the records they did put out (including presumably, an album by Terror Fabulous), and just before my album was due to come out, they said they can't take another chance on a reggae artist. I have no idea what happened with them. That's a period of my life that's over and gone. I've now gone back to redefining myself, and that whole experience has made me a stronger person. It's also left me with a stronger voice now. With the voice of a woman, and not the voice of a girl."
It's like you say in one of your songs, 'If it doesn't kill you, then it'll make you stronger..'
"Well it certainly has! When I look back over that period I realise how vulnerable I was to be honest. I really didn't understand the ways of the world, or about human needs and what it all meant. I mean I was still a little girl. And my mind definitely wasn't warped by it, because it left me feeling stronger when faced with certain choices after that, and I just had to deal with it as honestly as I could. But it wasn't a soul project like some people think. It was a fusion of all different kind of musics, a little like what Lauryn Hill has been having so much success with. It was like a reggae, r&b and rap hybrid, and it was something I really needed to do for myself, because I learnt so much by having to express myself in so many different ways. But Lauryn does it so well and she's so talented, she can do anything."

    Will you be able to release any of this music yourself one day?
"Well I don't know if anyone would actually like this kind of music from me, but it's alright. It's not a loss, and it was a wonderful experience. I've never had that level of exposure before, so I'm thankful for that in many ways. I just have to be thankful for the experience, and the funny thing is, people expect to hear an onslaught of new releases but I don't think that way about the situation. That's not to say I wasn't disappointed. I was. In fact I was crushed, but I've got over that now."

    Will it make you wary of signing to another major label in future?
"Yes, I think it would make me more wary, but I found out that you can't let such disappointments halt your progress. If you're gonna be robbed, then you're going to be robbed. You can't stop people trying to rob you, but I'm wiser definitely, and maybe even a little wearier, but I can't allow myself to think about it too much."
Is that why you wrote Don't Throw Pearls?
"No! (Laughs) That's a personal experience I've had. It's a lesson I learnt in my growth that basically if a person is away, you can be beautiful to them as much as possible, but if they're... I don't like to say, but that's a Bible verse actually, and I just used it in that song. It's from Proverbs. And I always felt like a little girl before that stage, so it coincided with a period of growth for me, and I can't believe how much I grew up at that point in my life. It's one of the most truthful songs I've ever written, but when you go through a period of real hardship, because apart from the Elektra album being dropped.. I mean that was heartbreaking, but apart from that, there was too much negativity going on. It was rumoured that I was a drug user, and there was so much darkness surrounding me at the time. I had to go deep within myself to really find out who I was, and I couldn't understand it, because I wasn't troubling anyone. I was just going about my business, but I seem to have pissed off a lot of people. Why, I have no idea, but it really made me go inside, because all this malice was being directed to me, and I couldn't fathom it out or understand it. Basically, initially I felt crushed because first I thought I could fight back, then I could not fight back, so I had to dive deep within my reservoir to really hold onto myself and find something in my life that I could laugh about and feel at peace with. So that was a real cleansing period in my life, and I've never felt so much emotion before. It did help me become a woman though."

    By writing and performing such experiences in song, it's like you're leaving signposts for others who might be undergoing something similar. It's strengthening..
"Well I really hope that album for Fatis eventually reaches more people. A friend of mine said that I will never write a better collection of songs, because as a young woman on the threshold of proper womanhood if you like, she'd been through a lot of similar things, and identified so closely to some of that material. That was extremely comforting to me, but the album didn't really get the push that I wanted for it. I don't know if that's because a lot of those songs were so personal in some aspects, but even if one person heard it and it helped take them through a time they couldn't really understand… various stages of life, or evolution of womanhood, then I guess I should be pleased. But that's just where I was at the time."
You kept writing songs about being abandoned, so it seemed like you were going through some traumatic relationship problems as well…
"Well it may seem that way to you, but I had no romantic involvement at that time. I had no romantic involvement that was significant to me, or of significance to me at that time. Actually it was speaking to my girlfriends, and transmitting their pain. I became like a voice for them. One of my girlfriends was saying to this other person, 'Don't tell Nadine anything, because she's only going to write it in a song.' That's a true story, but they all come and tell me their business, because they know that I'm going to write it in a song for them. It's so funny! So it wasn't even me that you're hearing about in those songs half the time, because some of them are friends' stories.

    "The stories that relate mainly to me on that album are Don't Throw Pearls, but even that wasn't written about one man in particular. In that song you can hear me singing 'In this time my bredren,' and I use the word 'sistren' too. So it was about people in general, and it was definitely not for a male. I had a male friend at the time, but the funny thing about it was, he never heard the word 'bredren.' Oh well, but I Believe In Love was directly for me because I was yearning. Me and my girlfriends, we sit down and it's like we're talking about meeting a Prince Charming because we're young, single girls and we're always talking about the guys we may meet or see. 'Will he ever come to us?' and all that. That to me was the most... Where relationships are concerned, I Believe In Love was the most yearning expression of me that I've recorded so far."
It has an almost country & western feel to it…
"Right, and I don't know how it turned out to be that way. I have no idea how it turned out like that! I just went in the studio, and it just turned out that way. Actually it's a funny thing, because you don't even know what kind of energy you're giving out. I was just so pained at that stage of my life. I was growing up, and most of the tracks on that album sound pained to me. I mean there's some hopefulness in that album too, and now I can hear those songs from the relative safety of a different mental space, I can hear the loving in some of them. I hear hope, as well as a very idealistic approach when facing the truths of the world. That's what I hear in that album, and that's what I felt at that time. The funniest thing was, I wasn't doing it deliberately. Things just turned out that way."

    You begin the album with Sentimental Idealist, which sets that particular pattern right from the start…
"It does. That's the thing in me that my girlfriends and me dream for all the while. We're wondering if there's any good man out there…"
Will your next album be a various producers' set, or just for one label?
"I don't even know. At this point in my life, trying to get into other people's heads is impossible. But the next album's already in my head. I have enough ideas and songs for a next album, but I don't even know who it could be for. I don't even know who's waiting for one, or willing to unleash one upon the unsuspecting world. I just need to write a couple more songs, then everything's ready. I don't know whether any other major label might be interested, but I really need to get it out to people. And whilst I love working with Bobby and Fatis, there's some new people I've been working with too. But who knows? Because Bobby and Fatis, they both value me as a songwriter. That song Rainbow, I love that song. (Sings) 'I'm getting married tomorrow..' When I did that song, Bobby was like 'Oh bwoy...' He really loved that song, but both Fatis and Bobby really encourage me as a songwriter, and that's important, especially as a female. When you're singing reggae music, few producers will let you write your own songs, so I have to be very thankful. And I'll always be singing for them, but sometimes you need a new vibes. But yes, they've encouraged me, and the little songwriting credits that I'm known for, it's been down to them. Because a lot of other people haven't been that supportive. You know how it goes. You're expected to sing all these cover versions, but the funny thing is, I look at it and I don't know man, my personality... I was never a person who is a follower, and sometimes I wonder if that's been to my detriment. People have said 'Bah, she's too feisty' because I have my song. I'm like 'Hello, this is my song,' so they leave me alone. I mean I hear some good songs that I wouldn't mind singing over, but I've written some good songs too, so they should just allow me to do my do. They rarely do, but sometimes I think I haven't been pushy enough, and I think some people… I don't know, I'd had some success with the little opportunities I've had y'know?"

    You were writing songs from very early though weren't you?
"Not really. I started writing in my late teens, but they were all like 'girl meets boy' stuff. Love songs y'know? Then I wrote all these poems when I was in high school, so I had to be a songwriter man! Even though I look back on some of those poems and say to myself, 'What were you thinking?' (Laughs) I mean God! OK, I'm going to quote two lines from one of my poems, so please don't laugh alright? 'When you left, my heart was weeping. I needed time to heal my wounds...' Alright, that's enough. That was a glimpse of me as a teenage girl. I was young alright?"
It's about leaving again…
"The same old leaving! You know what happened to me during that time? My mother left to go to America, and I think that was the time all my friends were leaving high school to go to college, so that was a leaving part of my life I guess. I wonder if I have some kind of psychological issue to work out here. When I start to analyse myself like that I think 'Damn!' But do you detect a new theme in my music now? Rather than hearing me talk about leaving, or sorting myself out in some way? Or coping with some turmoil within myself? Isn't it wonderful?"

    It's like we're getting the finished article now…
"Yes, but I'll still be seeking redemption, even though the growth and the inner work has been done. It's time for all that to manifest itself now. I don't whether people will be ready for that, but once music is in your life, anything is possible. I mean look at me. I've been singing since I was eleven and still going to school, but music has always picked me up and sustained me, although at times I've been confused as to what I should do. There was a time that I broke off from it when I was at college in Jamaica, but I wasn't like really studious about it. It was just another time in my life. It wasn't like I was staying home and married. I was always on the road, and sometimes you start to wonder about being a normal woman, and what else you could be doing with your life. I'd be thinking 'When I'm married, I hope my husband will be understanding about what I do.' I always thought that married life and having a child must be so beautiful, because you have the freedom, but if you're always hopping on a plane, or always on stage.. And other people's lives always seem to be so private and protected, whereas mine is so open. You're so vulnerable because so much people know about my life, and I hate it sometimes. I resent it, because I'm basically a private person and I like being in an environment where people don't know who I am. I can't even imagine what that's like; that would be simply God's gift, because sometimes I think being in music brings some things onto you that... I mean most of my friends are not in the music business. They are just ordinary girls who live ordinary lives and sometimes you need people like that."

    You need that balance, and also other interests…
"Yes, you have to have other interests, but you see, if you try to live an ordinary life, a private life… But because of always being on stage... I mean to me, I'm just working, but when I'm off-stage now, that's when I really feel the need to do something for myself. It's the funniest thing but when I came to New York, it wasn't because I was destitute or anything, but I did a lot of aerobics and I became good at it, 'cause I love physical exercise and I was rocking in the classes! Then somebody suggested I took a teaching course, which I did. I was being me. I was doing well, and this was the private Nadine trying to do something personal, because I was a public person, and there I was getting my certification, and it doesn't make sense getting your certification unless you plan to use it. I'm really glad that I came to the US in that sense. Because if ever I get the hell out of the music industry or am forced to give up music, then I definitely want to use my qualifications because I'm very centred in that way. But it was a big scandal in Jamaica. People were saying 'There's nothing going on for her. She's washed up and having to teach aerobics.' That was private Nadine finding her voice, trying to do something else that is of interest to her. If it was a normal person doing it they would have said nothing like that. They would have said 'Oh, that's wonderful. She has a second career,' but not for me. I felt like I was doing something wrong, after I went and I studied and felt so good about myself y'know? And it's like being watched, that's why I keep out of Jamaica and stay here in New York occasionally, away from… When I'm not on stage, I'm like private and all of that. And that's why it's so good for me, because I could not ever live up to whatever they see me as. And it seems to be in their interests because all they say is 'Nadine, Nadine...' I have to split myself up into different personalities now. It's so mindless."

    Teaching aerobics makes sense, because you dance so well on stage anyway, and I've always presumed that you do your own choreography…
"All of that. All of that, all of that, and that was an extension of the love that I have… People think I love to sing. I do love to sing, but my love of dance? It's definitely stronger than my love for singing. It's really hard for me to say that, but let me tell you man, I love to dance. It's probably one of the most feeling things to me, is to just put on something and dance. It's just a funny thing, sometimes I look back on it... There was one point when I was going through... When 'Nadine' was on everybody's lips for no purpose. I am a victim of my public life, and I envy my friends for the privacy they have. I envy them for that. They're free to walk down the street, and it's nothing. They can do anything and it's nothing of importance then. I envy that freedom and at one point I just wanted to pack it all in. I felt like I was trapped. I felt like my breath was being suffocated from me. It was like something had been stolen from me y'know? Because there was too much confusion in my life. It was crazy, and you know what? I just decided to hang out for a while. It was something I felt like I couldn't deal with, so I sort of just withdrew from the world. I didn't call hardly anyone..."

    I've witnessed that dual aspect of Jamaican life. On one hand the communal, family vibes can be so welcoming, but then you have the constant scrutiny, gossip and envy to contend with.
"Exactly. That's the other side of the coin, and it's hard. It means that people you have as friends can leave you feeling as though you're standing on sand, when they're standing on rock. I cried every single day, John. I cried every single day, that's how unhappy I was, because I just felt like everything was caving in, and me was being lost in the rush. I don't know. I had to learn that it's all about our past lives, and if other people don't love me, then fine."
Did it hit you especially hard because you'd grown up in a relatively protective environment at Tuff Gong?
"Well I was a child, so I was definitely more sheltered. But as regards being a more loving thing, to tell you the truth, it didn't last. Because when I became a woman and blossomed as a woman, and you're no longer a girl, the whole programme changed, and then I started to get problems. And there was nobody holding my hand, I was just there learning from a little kid, and I just don't... People began invading my head space, and with troubling, rather than nice thoughts. It's like you have to find something inside of yourself and accept that 'Yeah, I am famous.' It may sound trite, but it seems as if you have to fight, and especially when you're a humble, famous kind of person. You can't allow your ego to swell from it, but like anybody else, you have feelings. It's like you have to make something inside of you come alive, and then you'll begin to know yourself in some aspects. And that person you never knew inside of yourself has to be reborn y'know? You can't go on and think that you're in college, where all the boys or girls are all friends and you're sticking up for each other. It's like maybe you're all sitting in a tree and you're naive and one falls down, then they all cry because y'know, you're all pals. It's a different world y'know? And I didn't see what was brewing; that my little college mentality leads to a world that was rough. And the funny thing is, I was so innocent. I mean I went to public school. Yes, public school in Jamaica! And yes, it had it's hardships, but yeah, it was kind of normal. I had a grandmother, I had mothers, I had a father who kept me in check. It wasn't like I was allowed to run free in Jamaica. I mean it may sound real funny, but it wasn't like he earned big money, and yet nothing was spared, because he was supporting me whilst I getting my education. But you know when the bubble bursts and anything is for you… You become an international rah rah and… Oh man, I was the centre of conversation, and I would whine too much, despite the prestige I'd achieved. I was just lost into being a young woman, and I never looked half-back. I started to gyrate, and my sexuality was well fresh. I wasn't this shy, little girl anymore. I was not like this open and sexy queen, but it was definitely a young woman they saw. It was just like 'Wow.' But no man, I was like rarely far from the conversation. I wasn't this shy little girl anymore, and I'm not even that woman now… The person that I've been, or where I was in 1994. I'm a changed woman now, because now I'm like 'Ah, hah.' I've led an interesting life. And sometimes I can't believe that I'm so young, because I feel so old. I swear. One of my friends said to me, 'I'd never like to have your life. I don't know how you do it. I couldn't be walking down the street and have people watch me all the time. I would never want to be you.' I think they pity me sometimes, because they see what it feels like..."

    It can't be as bad in New York as it would be in Kingston…
"Oh God, New York is like heaven to me. It's like heaven y'know? Because when I'm here I'm like (Sings) 'Freedom!' The only thing I have to worry about is when I go on stage. Because when I'm performing, that's different, but apart from that, I come home to my house, talk to my friends, get wild and crazy, and put on the private Nadine. Then when I step out on the streets, I'm Nadine Sutherland. But I go to my family house, I visit my mother and I'm happy. Happy like a bird. But New York has become an extremely dangerous place in many ways. I ran from it at first, but the only way I can make it is to recognise that I've been my own worst enemy. We don't live forever y'know? And I love to see Jamaicans come here, but they can become disillusioned. It's like another round in my evolution, but definitely, I.. I don't know, my mother left to come to America, and when I first came to join her, I thought 'My God, this is a war zone.' But the thing is, I'm a lot stronger now. I'm a mature woman now, and it won't suffocate me as much as it did. I don't think it will happen to me like it's happened to others, 'cause I think I've reached the point in my life now that I have made friends with me. I've come to accept myself more now. I mean I accept that I am famous, and that was a turning point. That was a breakthrough for me, because you have to find a balance. The best thing to do... The approach that I've found that has saved my life.. You just do what you have to do in life, and if fame comes with it and you begin to feel famous, then I get back to that point where I'm happiest. You just have to find a space where you can be totally you. Find a support system where you are you in any... I think I'm a very honest person. I don't think what people see on stage is who I am. I mean I love to dance and I love to wine and all of that, that's me. That is something I don't have to try and be, that's truly real. I try to be extremely real on stage, and that's just me operating on another level. But when I'm with my family and my friends, I think that I'm even worst. I'm a clown. I'm a direct clown. But even so, that's a different way they look at you. It's a completely different affair, because I'm another person to them, and you have to find that person. It's kind of like a role. I can't even say a role like I have on stage. It's me on stage as well. That's my personality, but it's more like finding a role in my head... Like finding a switch in my head. There's basically me, and then there's the product, but I am her in both instances. And it's like you have to respect yourself for that all the time.
"I've led a very interesting life John. I've had a very interesting life. There's been times when I've had my frustrations, but overall, everything's been OK. The next part of my life that I really what to do is to have a child. I'm not a person who can stay at home, so if I pull that off it'll be a real achievement y'know? And I need to feel it. I want to be successful in being a mother too. I think I'm ready man. I feel ready in my soul, but if I do have a baby, I want to have a girl so I can give her all of my knowledge. I don't particularly want a boy. No, actually I want to have both. I want to have a boy and a girl, but I don't want them to be a flat man or woman. I sometimes wonder if it's wise to bring more children into this world, but I'm going to grow them in an extremely spiritual sense. That's how I'm going to grow them; not one dimensional at all. I won't be going by material status, but by something far more spiritual, and I'm not going to hesitate in sharing my vision with them. I'm thirty-one now, and I would love to have a child before I'm thirty-five, because I say to myself that I've evolved and I've gone through a lot of changes in my life. I've seen good, I've seen bad and I feel like I'm at a very good stage right now in my head. But hey, suppose I have a child when I'm going through a crisis? I honestly know how my parents must feel sometimes, because I've put them through purgatory, and when I reach those points in my life where things aren't going how I think they should, then I'm miserable. I act out my emotions on people, and so I'm thinking that if I had a child, you know, you're probably still scarring that child, because sometimes subconsciously you don't know what you're doing. "When I was younger, I used to blame my parents. I mean I've had knocks in my life, but when I look back on them now I can see them as people, rather than just as parents y'know what I mean? It's like now that I've become a woman, I'm like 'You can't be married when you were eighteen!' When I was born, my mother was probably what? My mother was twenty-one and my father probably the same age, and look at me at twenty-one. What did I know? They can look and feel pitiful, but I feel that at some level they pulled through with all the knowledge they had at that time. I look at some of my girlfriends and it's like their parents had them at thirty, and they're just as mad as I am. Or even worse! It freaks me out, but when I have my baby, I can only do the best I can. I can only move forward with what I have y'know? But at the rate I'm going, I'll probably have to wait. My mother said to me 'Would I carry a child on the road?' and I said 'Mother, first I have to get pregnant.' She's looking at me like if I was pregnant, it would have to be an immaculate conception. It's got to be! It was so funny. I was like 'Hello?' But I am a person like Lauryn Hill. She was pregnant and she did what she had to do. Woman are no longer exempt, John. It's not like back in the old days when you get pregnant and you roll over and die. It's not like that anymore. I'm like right, 'This is me,' and although I might be ten months past, I can still dance. I'm just hoping to carrying on doing my job, and keep things normal. And yes, I'm going to continue going onto the stage because it's a new time now. It's a new era y'know? Childbirth and the reproductive system; it's normal!"

    Well those things have been going since the beginning of time…
"It's true. But I don't know man, I really don't know. I think we're on the threshold of change. I feel somehow that the new millennium is a time of change. It has to be, because certain things shouldn't be around anymore."
Maybe it will herald an age of integrity...
"That's very noble, except we're still heading for self-destruction. I mean everything in this materialistic world... I mean this is just a cry of where we are, and our self-esteem. We have some serious things invalidating us, and I feel that the only thing that seems to work is love, but people only invalidate themselves by calling upon the word of God and all of that. It's a false cry because who I am inside is not enough. I think that physically, anybody who struggles in appealing to an external power, it's like a wrong inside of them, and that wrong makes some of them have to conquer, and to hurt and to… y'know what I'm saying? And it doesn't work. And it's probably… It can be humbling when somebody experiences a rebirth, but they're just getting in touch with themselves, and seeing all their dark sides and being able to exorcise all those feelings. Being brave enough to be accept your weaknesses and being brave enough to say 'I'm OK,' and work on it so when you can do that, then you can accept another person. And probably all this stuff that's happening now… It's still leading to the destruction of the human race though."

    The current generation are looking for alternative solutions, because religion's not holding them…
"Well, no-one can blame them. The most comfortable that I am, is when I can say that I have a relationship with God, and when I just accept the person that I am. Not like 'Yo, look at me!' or whatsoever, but just feeling comfortable. We have so many things to overcome in this world… I mean ever since the beginning of mankind, people have worshipped graven images, but I really don't believe that God wanted it this way y'know? I believe that human beings should just live as people. With the magazines and media, it just boils down to the one thing: hating yourself, 'cause if you haven't got a reason, then never mind. If you're fat, they'll just give you one. If you're short, that's all, man! But they're just blinding themselves. I don't monitor everything and I'm not someone who knows everything, but feeling OK. It's my little prayer."

    So much of the media is fueling those kinds of misconceptions...
"Yes, but we're all individuals to me. I'm sure they have their reasons for dealing with all that, but I don't want to feel it. It's like… To me it's truly disgusting, and I'm not one to condemn other people's behaviour because to me that's harmful, but if you don't have or want everything they suggest, it's like you're supposed to feel awful. And if a person doesn't get all that for himself, then he feels he can't go on anymore y'know? They're so insecure, they'll be left with a bunch of neuroses for sure. When they're successful it's good, but it's a terrible cycle some people are caught in, and we're left with all these dysfunctional human beings on our hands that are constantly looking to get over another person, and it's always destruction. Like it's a cycle of destruction, and it's, really really scary y'know?"
Almost as scary as the idea of never getting to hear Nadine's major label album, or seeing her perform in Europe, where an audience still patiently awaits her presence. In the meantime all singles, whether Jamaican or Jamerican, are warmly welcome, and if these include further gems for Bobby Digital, Penthouse or Xterminator, who are we to complain?